Home
by ImagineYourself64
Summary: University AU. Destiel. It's winter break and Castiel is informed that he's being kicked out of the dorms for a whole three weeks until break finishes. With nowhere to go, his best friend Dean offers him a place to stay, but Cas is worried. What if Dean finds out that Cas is secretly in love with him?
1. I'm sorry but you can't stay here

A/N: My first actual AU fic, and I have to say I love it. (Totally not self-centered, I swear.) Notes are:

1. The song for this entire story is "Cosmic Love" by Florence + The Machine (I literally played it over and over writing this..)

2. Dean is kind of... nice in this fic. I didn't really mean for him to turn out like that, but chap 2 introduces him that way so I'm rolling with it.

3. Rated M for later chaps.

P.S. I really don't know much about college except what my brother tells me. If you really want to know where I picture this, it's in Tuscon, AZ at University of Arizona(the only uni I'm familiar with..).

Enjoy :)

* * *

"How can I help you today, Castiel?" the dorm manager asked, closing the door and gesturing for Cas to sit in one of the plush chairs next to his desk. He was a handsome man, middle-thirties with a laid back look in his dark eyes. Cas wondered lightly if he was married. "Mr. Novak?" Ted Harley prompted, taking a seat behind his desk and looking expectantly at the young man with the startling blue eyes.

Cas brought his thoughts back to the matter at hand. "I was wondering if there was a way for me to stay on campus during the break?"

Harley gave him a funny look, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Why would you want to do that?" he asked not unkindly.

Shrugging, Cas replied, "I don't have anywhere else to go." He paused. "My family died recently and I have no connection to any other relatives. I don't think I have any cousins," he added softly, a musing expression on his features.

The dorm manager sighed and shook his head. "I'm terribly sorry about your family Castiel. I understand how hard it must be. But, even so, we have to close down all the dorms for good over break. You'll have until this Wednesday." There was regret present in the man's eyes that Cas felt was not faked.

"I understand."

"Do you have any friends you can stay with?"

After a hesitant pause, Cas nodded slowly. A small smile of sadness flickered on Harley's lips as he looked at the younger man. He stood up and shook Castiel's hand, showing him out with one last apology.

Cas left the main building and glanced around the nearly empty campus. He sighed at the emptiness. It was only Monday, still two weeks from Christmas, and yet almost everyone was already gone. Home to their families. Cas sighed again and trudged back to his empty dorm. He was going by the middle plaza next to the huge cafeteria in the center of campus when he noticed a lone man walking from the building and towards him.

"Hey, Cas!" Dean grinned, waving an arm and jogging to meet his friend.

"Hi, Dean," Cas answered as they met with a deep sadness dripping from his voice.

Dean gave him a worried look and put a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Hey, man, what's wrong?"

Cas felt an electricity pulse through him with the contact. He pulled away automatically and shrugged noncommittally. "They're not letting me stay over break."

"What?" Dean exclaimed. "That's stupid!" Cas nodded and watched the ground carefully. Dean paused and glanced over his shoulder as if he was afraid someone was watching them. "Look, man, if you need a place, I've told you, you can come stay with me."

Cas felt his heart thump in his chest. _That's right,_ he thought, _Dean has his own apartment._ He thought about how he had wished to live on his own in an apartment too when he started at Uni. But his parents had convinced him that since he was a freshman he needed to live in the dorms for a year. And then a month later, both his parents and his sister died in a car accident driving down to see him. It'd been too late then to be able to find himself an apartment, and he hadn't even thought that the university would kick him out once winter break came around.

"Dude?" Dean called, poking his arm.

"Sorry," Cas apologized meekly. He pulled himself together and looked into the other man's face. "Thanks, Dean, really, but I can't impose myself on you that much."

"Cas, you're not imposing. I'm inviting. Come on, man, my brother's staying the break at his girlfriend's place so I'm gonna be all alone. We're friends, dude, you are seriously welcome to stay as long as you need." Dean was doing a fair job convincing Cas, but Cas still held up in hands and tried to refuse.

Dean finally sighed. "Look, Cas, I'm not taking no for an answer. I will take your shit from your room myself if I have to and drag your ass over." He paused, a mischievous smile taking his pouty lips. "Actually that sounds like a great idea to do right now!"

With that, he turned away and began marching towards Cas' dorm building. "Wait! Dean!" Cas called out behind him. Dean glanced over his shoulder at the younger man. "Alright, fine, I'll come."

Dean grinned and turned back to clap his friend on his shoulder. "That's a good boy," he mocked playfully. Cas felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth and together they entered the building to gather Castiel's things.


	2. A first in every way

A few hours later the two men dragged Castiel's few bags over to Dean's apartment building, which was right across the street, and Cas quietly mused as Dean muttered about his friend having "too much shit sitting around". Instead of listening though, Cas thought back to when he and Dean had just met.

_Castiel Novak meandered around the main plaza of the campus. The place was bustling with excitement as parent's dropped off their kids and returning students welcomed the newcomers. Castiel's own parents had dropped him off just a few hours before and Cas had decided to take a walk around after setting up his dorm room and meeting his roommate Gabriel. Gabriel was… odd. At least to Cas. He ate far too many sweets and had a strange, gleaming look in his eyes, and of course, he loved to play pranks on everyone. But Cas had liked him nonetheless. _

_Lost in thought, Cas didn't see the guy in front of him until they ran into each other, bumping heads. Cas fell to the ground, slightly more than marginally smaller than the other man. _

_"Woah, there," came a deep silky voice from above Cas. A hand was extended and Cas gratefully took it, mildly surprised at the strong grip and the tingle it sent up his arm. "You okay?" the man asked._

_Cas brushed himself off and looked up to find a pair of bright green eyes watching him. Connected to them was a defined nose, a set of full lips, and an extremely handsome face. "Yeah," Cas replied warily. "I'm really sorry, I wasn't paying attention and—"_

_Cas was cut off as the man laughed richly and held up his hands. "Don't worry about it, man. My fault for not seeing you sooner. I'm Dean, by the way," he added smiling, holding out his hand again. _

_Shaking it, Cas returned a small smile and said, "Castiel."_

_"Well, Cas," Dean said in a warm tone, "is it your first year here?" Castiel nodded, kind of amazed. "Shit!" Dean laughed. "Well, I'll give you a tour if you want. Been here two years myself."_

_Cas felt hesitant. Why was this guy being so nice? Was it some sort of joke? But when Cas searched Dean's face he saw just a bright welcome etched into his eyes. "I'd like that," he replied, one side of his mouth quirking up._

"Dude, you awake? You're spacing out like crazy today." Cas looked up in surprise to find himself in Dean's living room.

"Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking about stuff," he replied lamely.

Dean gave him a skeptical glance. "Oookay," he drawled. "Well, come on. You can stay in Sammy's room. Don't worry," he added at Cas' raised eyebrows, "He won't care. And if he does he can take it right up the ass 'cause I don't care." Cas smiled and breathed out in a puff of laughter.

Dean sauntered down the hall and dumped Castiel's bag he'd been carrying inside the first door to the left. "Make yourself at home." He moved past Cas, back to the main room. "Oh, you good with pizza for lunch?" he called back over his shoulder. Cas answered an affirmative and Dean added a loud, "Awesome."

Cas looked into the room he'd be staying in the next few weeks and felt the smile slowly fade from his face. _What have I gotten myself into?_


	3. Dude, you've never seen 'Rambo?

A/N: Mentions of Rambo, the film series, just a random action flick I pulled out of my ass and figured it worked for this scene. If you don't know it, it doesn't matter.

* * *

A buzz echoed in the apartment as the pizza man rang. "Down in a sec," Dean said into the com and grabbed his wallet, dropping a wink at Cas who was walking into the living room right then. He leaped out the door and left it open, returning after just a couple of minutes. He set the box down on the coffee table in front of the couch where Cas was sitting.

"What do you wanna drink?" Dean called from the kitchen just seconds later

"Anything," Cas answered opening the box and picking up a greasy slice of pizza. He looked at it cautiously.

Dean came back into the room with two bottles of beer in his hand and popped them open. Cas gratefully took one and decided to try the pizza. It was… normal, he supposed. Shrugging to himself he finished the slice and sipped at his beer, watching with amusement as Dean wolfed down four slices and went back to the kitchen for another beer. He burped ungracefully and sat back on the couch.

All the while, the TV had been on, playing an action movie that Cas had never seen before. It centered on an extremely muscular man who seemingly loved all sorts of weapons and angrily killing what apparently were enemies.

"What is this movie?" Cas asked after a while.

Dean had moved to the floor and was leaning his back against the couch so he had to twist around to look at Cas. "You've never seen 'Rambo'?" he asked, shocked. Cas shook his head, confused. "Dude, we are so watching them all." Dean hauled himself to his feet and went next to the TV where a bookshelf of DVDs stood. He took a minute to look through them but gave a shout when he found all five films and tossed them on the table save for one, which he popped in to watch.

"This is going to be awesome," he laughed, throwing Castiel his excited face. Cas thought he looked almost maniacal but let it be. He was content doing whatever Dean wanted to.

It was hours later and deep into the night when the credits for the last movie began to roll. Cas was curled up on half of the couch and Dean was propped up on his side on the floor. There were another few bottles sitting on the floor and the pizza had been finished hours ago. Cas was nearly asleep but his eyes snapped open when Dean groaned and sat up.

"C'mon Cas, time for bed for sleepy freshmen," he said warmly. No matter how close they were as friends, Dean had never stopped teasing Cas about being a freshman. Cas didn't mind though, he didn't mind anything Dean did or said. He didn't worship Dean, but he looked up to the older man in how he was strong and independent and handsome.

Cas yawned as he stood and stretched his back. He gathered the empty bottles as Dean picked up the pizza box and they both moved to the kitchen to dispose of both. Cas stood a moment at the counter, glancing out the window near the table and into the dark night.

"You okay, man?" Dean asked, noticing him spacing out again.

Cas planted a smile on his face. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You can talk to me, you know, if you wanted." Dean's voice was gentle, different than how it usually was. Cas thought it might have been the couple of beers but when he looked at Dean's face and saw it hiding a deep sadness, Cas understood.

"Thanks, Dean, but I just need some sleep," Cas said after a moment. Dean nodded and flashed him his old teasing smile. It didn't quite reach his fathomless green eyes.

"Don't get too caught up with the delicious smell of my brother," he said.

Cas felt himself smirk slightly and punched his friend's shoulder playfully. "Don't worry, I'm not _that_ interested in him," he returned, making Dean laugh. Cas loved that laugh. Quickly he left the kitchen, calling a, "G'night," over his shoulder and heading to his temporary room.

There, he fell onto the bed, which didn't even smell like anything except clean laundry. Cas shoved his arms under the pillow and sighed, resolving to do better about keeping his emotions in check the next morning. And every day after that, too.


	4. History enough to share

The days passed quickly. Cas mostly spent his time on his laptop doing homework, writing, or reading books. His favorite pastime was curling up on the couch to read while Dean would watch TV or a movie. This was how Sam found them when he came to visit about five days after Cas "moved in".

"Hey," Sam said to announce his presence that afternoon as he came in without warning.

"Sammy!" Dean leaped up and met his tall brother in a hug, pounding the man's back. Sam was the same age as Cas and in the same year at Uni, but he'd managed to get away with living with his brother instead of the dorms.

"Hey, Sam," Cas called out in greeting, sitting up. He'd only met Dean's brother a few times but they got along just fine.

"What're you guys up to?" Sam asked, plopping down beside Cas.

"Just hanging out," Dean replied, moving towards the kitchen. "Beer anyone?"

"Yeah."

"Sure."

Sam and Cas glanced at each other as they spoke in unison. The taller threw out a grin which Cas returned. "So whatcha doing here, Cas?" Sam asked after a moment.

"He's reading. What does it look like?" Dean replied sarcastically, returning and handing them both a bottle.

Cas smiled, holding his book on his lap. "Dean invited me to stay over break since they closed the dorms," he supplied. Sam made a noise of understanding and took a swig of his drink.

"Been a good boy, Dean?" Sam's voice had a teasing lilt to it. Though he was usually the more serious of the two, he was known to crack a few jokes every once in a while.

"Of course I have dear little brother," Dean answered waving his hands and nearly spilling his beer in the course.

Cas watched the two with amusement, hiding the sadness that it brought him with perfection. He missed his sister, more than he could ever say, more than he missed his parents by far. After a moment Cas figured he must have been spacing out again because Dean knocked his bottle on Castiel's knee.

"Excuse Cas," he told his brother, "He's been spacing out more than a monkey in a spacesuit."

"That didn't make sense," Cas said after a long moment of silence.

All three started laughing until Dean had to hold his stomach as he fell to his back on the floor. Cas didn't quite know why they were all laughing so hard, but he didn't care. It felt too good to care.

After a long while they finally quieted and Dean sat up, folding his arms and resting them on the arm of the couch with his chin on top. "So how's your girl, Sammy?"

"She's good," Sam replied with a content smile. "Jess is really good. And so am I, thanks for asking." There were smiles all around as the two brothers teased each other. Cas almost felt like an intruder. Almost.

"Hey, Cas?" Dean addressed him a little later.

"Yeah?"

"You ever had a girlfriend?"

"No, not really. You?"

"Plenty."

"Yeah, he's a real ladies man, this one," Sam interjected.

"Cas, punch him for me, would you?"

Cas laughed. "No, thanks, I'm good staying out of this one, Dean."

It felt normal, this light-hearted banter. Cas liked it. And so, he felt a pang of sadness when Sam left them that evening to get back to Jess.

"You and your brother get along really well," Cas remarked as he and Dean resumed their usual activities, him reading and Dean lying on the floor. The man seemed to prefer the floor to anything else as a seat.

"We didn't used to," Dean replied casually.

"What do you mean?"

Dean glanced over his shoulder to his friend. "When we were young, we fought all the time. It really wasn't until I left home for college that we started talking and really getting to know each other. We still fight sometimes, but I guess we've just matured." He paused and Cas took it to mean he was done talking about it. But a few minutes later Dean began again.

"I remember when he was about 12 and I was 16 and we were going to a new school. He made friends with some of the nerdy kids and I was kind of pulled into the 'popular' crowd. Some of the other guys started bullying him. It was around that time that I started to see that my little brother wasn't all that much of a brat. I told him one day that if he needed any help with the bullies that I'd be there right beside him.

"'Course he was still a brat sometimes," Dean paused to laugh. "Little fucker yelled at me saying he didn't need me and stormed off on his own." He quieted. "He didn't need me, though, and soon after that he told me he'd dealt with the guys and they weren't going to bother him again. To this day I still don't know what he did to those kids, but I figured I didn't need to ask."

Cas mulled over the story. "So then, how'd you get to be as close as you are now?"

Dean shrugged. He was sitting up with crossed legs and his elbow resting on the table, palm to cheek. Castiel's bright eyes gazed at the back of his head as he spoke. "I don't really know. Once I left, we weren't around each other twenty-four-seven so we kind of got over our differences I guess. Whenever we saw each other we just kind of talked. It was nice, actually. I like having a brother I can talk to." They were both quiet.

"What about you?" Dean asked suddenly, turning to look at Cas and meeting his eyes. "Did you ever have problems with your sister?"

Cas felt his heart falter for half a second. He thought about it. "We fought sometimes, but for the most part we got along. I was always the protective older brother and she was the supportive little sister."

Dean laughed a little. "Yeah, I can imagine that. She looks like a sweet girl from the pictures you've shown me."

It was Cas' turn to laugh. "Sweet, yes, but she was feisty, too." Anna's face came into view as Cas thought about her. Her red hair haloed a pale, young face. Too young.

Noticing Castiel's expression Dean quickly apologized, "Look, man, I'm sorry for bringing it up. I shouldn't have—"

A sad smile graced the younger man's lips. "No, it's fine. I just miss her is all." The two friends lapsed back into their routine and didn't talk about it again that night.


	5. It must be Christmas, there's mistletoe

Less than a week later, it was Christmas Eve. Sam and Jess had invited Cas and Dean to Jess' apartment for dinner. It was about five when they arrived and Sam ushered them inside with a baby blue apron on that said "DANGER: MEN COOKING" in big black letters across it.

In the main room was a medium sized Christmas tree decorated with yellow lights and multicolored ribbons. Cas complimented Jess on the aesthetics to which she blushed a rose pink and laughed. Sam waved a ladle in his direction and jokingly warned him.

Not much later they all sat around the table with a small feast before them courtesy of Sam. Dean dug in like a man starved for weeks which caused Cas to laugh and Dean to ask an ungraceful "What?" around a mouthful of mashed potatoes. But Sam just nudged him with his elbow, grinning, and the meal continued in peace.

It was only eight o'clock and Dean was already half-drunk by the time Cas figured it was time to get out of Sam and his girlfriend's way. They'd walked the few blocks over and Cas led the way back in the chilly night air. Dean was slightly unsteady on his feet and every minute or two Cas would glance over his shoulder to make sure his friend hadn't fallen on his face.

"Relax, Cassie," Dean said with a smile after about five minutes of this, "I'm totally fine." Cas just rolled his eyes as the ghost of a smile passed over his lips. "Hey, you wanna walk through the park before we head back? It's nice out," Dean asked soon after. Cas thought for a moment but fell in step with Dean as they made their way across the street to the neighborhood park.

It was lit only by the yellow circles of streetlamps and was deserted, unsurprising for it was of course Christmas Eve, the night everyone spent with their families. The whole playground was decorated for Christmas with ribbons and bells tied around poles and waving in the slight breeze. Cas made his way to the swing set and sat on one of the swings. Dean claimed the one beside him.

"What are you thinking about?" Dean asked quietly.

Cas stared up at the dark sky above, eyes tracing the constellations. "I didn't get to say goodbye to them. I didn't even know they were coming to visit, it was supposed to be a surprise." He took a deep breath and Dean watched his exposed throat as he swallowed the cold air.

"Cas," Dean began hesitantly.

"It's fine, Dean. I'm still sad, but there's nothing I can do about it so there's no use crying over it." Cas didn't even attempt to hide the melancholy in his face. After a long moment he stood and wandered towards a lamppost. Dean followed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

Cas was turned away from him and Dean eyed his back. He suddenly noticed something. "Hey, Cas." Twisting back, Cas saw Dean had a funny half-smile on his face. "You know, we're standing under mistletoe."

Castiel's face turned upward and he saw the tiny white flowers hanging above them from the lamppost. His heart nearly stopped and he stepped back, towards the post, blood turning to ice and eyes wide.

"What? You afraid of a kiss?" Dean teased him, taking a step forward which put them directly underneath the plant. Cas' back was against the pole and he was looking at Dean with such an expression that Dean knew he was hiding something.

"Cas, what's wrong? It was just a joke, man," Dean quickly reassured him, moving away and putting up his hands in surrender.

Cas breathed out heavily and saw it in the air near his face. He blinked and told himself to calm down and take a step back. "Sorry, I don't know what came over me," he said slowly, looking away and trying to calm his thumping heart.

"Alright. C'mon, let's just get home," Dean said, starting to walk away. Cas nodded and followed after a moment.

* * *

A/N: As a side note, I've decided that the reason Dean is so happy and soft in this story is that, since he never had to grow up with John as a hunter and never dealt with any of that, he didn't have any hardness drilled into him. He didn't have to deal with killing and dying and getting hurt, he grew up fairly happy and learned to leave behind things that bothered him or hurt him. Just a thought. Thank you everyone for your continued support:)


	6. Santa Claus is coming to town

The next morning Cas rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he yawned and made his way to the kitchen, almost forgetting that it was Christmas.

"Goooooooooood morning!" Dean shouted as he bounded down the hallway after Cas. He had his hands behind his back and a childish grin on his face.

"Morning," Cas replied tiredly. He'd been up most of the night, heart hammering in his chest and too nervous to sleep until late.

"Merry Christmas!" Dean handed him a small and sloppily wrapped gift.

Cas took it hesitantly. "You didn't have to get me anything," he said quietly, though he was secretly happy that his friend had done so.

"You're my friend, Cas! 'Course I got you something," Dean replied excitedly. Cas laughed softly. Dean was excitable as a kitten and it never got tiring. Moving back to his room, Cas fished out Dean's gift from behind the door and headed back to the kitchen to give it to him. They both sat at the table to open their respective presents.

Cas was pleasantly surprised when he opened his gift to find his favorite band's new album staring back at him. Then he watched as Dean's face lit up when he opened his and a gift card to his favorite burger joint fell out.

"Awesome," he muttered happily.

Cas felt so light-hearted that he wasn't even brought down by memories when Dean's parents called him a little later to wish him a merry Christmas; nor even when Sam dropped by to give his brother a hug and a case of beer from himself and Jess. There were, of course, no calls for Cas throughout the day, but he felt contented just lounging around on the couch and watching a marathon of "The Santa Claus" with Dean on the floor as usual.

It was by no means a spectacular Christmas, but Cas felt for the first time since his family's death that things were looking up.

A while later in the afternoon, the marathon ended. Sometime during the second movie Dean had moved onto the couch but partway through the third Cas had lain down and fallen asleep on the floor. Dean got the distinct feeling that Cas didn't want to be near him so he decided to test his theory.

A random Christmas movie began playing on the TV that Dean didn't recognize but he didn't care as he slid to the floor beside his friend. He didn't touch him, afraid of waking him up, but instead just lay next to him. Without meaning to, though, he fell asleep too after a while.

It was nighttime Dean woke again to the sound of a crash which had emanated from the TV. Another movie was on and he wondered how much time had passed as he stared at the ceiling. But before he could move and check he became acutely aware of an arm slung around his waist and a warm body directly beside him. A strange feeling passed through his gut but he turned his head.

His eyes found Castiel's face right next to his. His features were relaxed and his breathing deep so Dean knew he was asleep still. He looked… peaceful, Dean thought. For too long Dean had seen his friend's face with forced happiness and fake smiles. It made his heart clench. He didn't know why he felt such a strong attachment to this boy, but he did.

* * *

A/N: If you're wondering, the CD Cas got was "Lungs" from Florence + The Machine, I just didn't feel like putting that in, but that's the album I pictured him getting considering it's the album that I've wrote this story to (plus it makes an appearance in the last chapter)... Also, WARNING: super sexy scene next chapter ;)


	7. You've got a friend in me

Cas groggily woke up to the warmth of a body beside him and a hand resting on his arm that was draped across the body. Slowly opening his bright blue eyes Cas saw a pair of deep green ones meet his. He gradually became aware of the face that held those beautiful eyes and recognized it as Dean. His eyes grew wide as realization dawned on him and he immediately sat up and scooted away.

"Cas, wait," Dean said, sitting too and reaching out for Cas. He took the younger man by the hand.

"But, Dean," Cas protested, eyes still wide with surprise. Then Dean suddenly pulled himself closer to Cas and his free hand attached itself to the back of Castiel's neck as he brought their lips together. For a moment Cas was shocked, but he soon softened against Dean and ran his hand over his friend's chest.

His friend.

His _friend_.

Cas pulled back and spun away, getting to his feet. "What is happening?" he mumbled, not knowing where to look or what to do. "This is a dream. This must be a dream."

Dean hauled himself to his feet and watched. "Cas," he called out warily. "Cas!" When Castiel still wouldn't answer Dean stepped forward and smacked him lightly in the face. Cas finally stopped flailing around and looked at him. "Cas, it's not a dream." Disbelief flashed in the young man's startling eyes, eyes that Dean had loved from the moment he first saw them when fate made them bump heads. Literally.

But in Dean's eyes there was only truth and love. A love that he'd been trying so hard to push away that he hadn't even acknowledged its existence until very recently. A love that slowly looked like it was being crushed by Cas and his reaction.

"But…" Cas fumbled for words. "What does this mean?" he finally managed to stutter.

"I love you, Cas," Dean said softly. "I have for a long time."

Cas took a moment to soak that in. The only thing he could say in response was, "But I'm the one who's supposed to be in love with you."

Dean laughed in an odd, relieved way. "That's good enough for me," he said mildly. There was a vulnerability in the small smile that decorated his lips that Cas had never seen before. But he had just thought how much he liked it when it disappeared against his own mouth as Dean moved towards him and kissed him.

Castiel's back gently landed on the wall as Dean pushed him with a hand on his neck and the other wrapped around his waist, holding them tight together. Cas' own arms wrapped around the other man. Dean's tongue brushed against Castiel's lips and Cas took the hint to follow his lead and opened his mouth, letting their tongues twist together.

Dean's arm left Cas' waist and his hand ran up the younger man's arm until they linked fingers and Dean held their connected hands to the wall just as he pushed into the other's hips with his own. Cas moaned softly as he felt Dean growing hard against him. He freed his hand from Dean's and ran his hands down the other man's chest until he reached the hem of his t-shirt which he pulled up and off.

There was a short moment where the kiss was broken and both men breathed heavily as they stared into each other's eyes. The green ones were filled with a peculiar lust while the blue held a gentle curiosity and the deep bonds of an even deeper etched feeling. The moment was suspended when Dean pulled off Cas' shirt and brought their mouths roughly together again.

Castiel's hands rubbed over Dean's lean chest and abs and finally rested on his shoulders while the other man ground his hips and moved his lips across Cas' jaw and throat, his collarbone and came to a stop at his nipple. Cas let out another moan as Dean's tongue caressed the flesh surrounding his nipple and his arms wrapped around the slender body of Cas.

"Dean…" Cas whispered as he continued his descent to Castiel's navel. Suddenly his mouth found Cas' again while his thumbs stroked across the younger man's hipbones where they showed above his low-riding jeans. Hooking his fingers in those same jean's belt loops, Dean brought Cas to the floor and lay him down, stripping him of the restrictive material. He positioned himself above Cas, careful not to let his full weight rest on the naked man, and continued to kiss him while one hand traveled the length of his body to his bare thigh.

Dean left a trail of kisses across Castiel's neck as his hand moved back up and stroked the younger man's hard length. Cas moaned his name again as Dean grinned and let out a silky, low laugh that was more of a pleased growl. His hand slowly tortured Cas, making him scrunch his face in what Dean thought was an attractive manner. Dean then rid himself of his own jeans and boxers before returning to the man writhing in pleasure.

Dean's hand was slick as he moved it from Castiel's cock to the place where he knew Cas truly wanted him. He leaned in and quieted Cas with a deep kiss while he took his time playing around before beginning to enter Cas. Dean clutched Cas' legs while the younger man's hands clenched and unclenched on the carpet as he took in the rolling waves of ecstasy.

"Please…" he groaned quietly at Dean who decided he'd had enough playing around and began thrusting in and out of Cas. The soft moans emanating from both of them was like music to Dean's ears. He was in a state of dazed pleasure when Cas finally came at the same time he did. Dean moved his mouth passionately with Cas as he fell to the side, blissfully tired.

The warm daze slowly faded as the warmth of his skin did, too. It was cool in the room and both men felt it after a while. Slowly Cas pulled Dean up and led him to Dean's bed. Arms around each other and mouths still glued together they found themselves in bed. Dean was just beginning to feel the heat of passion again when Cas threw his leg over him, straddling Dean with his hands on his chest and continued to kiss him.

"Round two?" Dean whispered excitedly a moment later. Castiel's eyes lit up with the same lust that Dean's had acquired just a short time before. He responded by forcefully kissing Dean and grinding his hips into the other man's. He paused after a moment, though, panting and staring into Dean's eyes, his hands on either side of Dean's head.

"Merry Christmas," he said with a mischievous smile. Dean grinned and ran his hands down Cas' sides before flipping him over and landing on top.

"Merry Christmas," Dean replied with another one of his half-laughs.

* * *

A/N: Ugh, that was so hard to write. I was sitting there with all these images thinking "How in hell do I put this in words?!" but I did for your reading pleasure! Only a couple more chapters to go!

I just want to give a massive shout out to all of you still with this, it means so much to me that you all like this. Thank you all for your reviews and faves and follows and everything. It really really means a lot so thank you all!


	8. Reminders of how things used to be

The fireworks exploded over their heads and cheers filled Castiel's ears. He smiled at Dean next to him who grinned back and kissed him deeply. Cas didn't even care about the people around them as they stood at the park under the same lamppost as before. It still had mistletoe hanging down above them, too.

"Happy New Year!" they shouted together along with everyone else.

Sam and Jess made their way through the crowd arm-in-arm towards them soon after. Sam immediately noticed how close Cas and Dean seemed but he didn't say anything until later on when he was alone with Cas.

"So I take it something happened between you and Dean?" Sam began casually, leaning back against the lamppost with Cas standing beside him. They both had their eyes on Dean and Jess who were laughing and popping crackers a ways off.

Castiel's eyes snapped to the tall man for just a moment before returning to Dean. "Yeah," he replied. "Something happened." A faint smile flickered on the edges of his mouth.

"Care to explain?" Sam prompted, his curiosity bringing his hazel eyes to Cas and seeing the lightness that mirrored his own when he looked at Jess.

"We kind of… hit it off," was all Cas said in a vague tone.

Sam let out a puff of air and glanced at his brother to watch the happiness that resided in the man's face when Dean looked over at Cas. "So, you two a couple now?"

Cas shrugged. "We haven't really talked about it in that way yet." He paused, turning to Sam. "You're okay with it, right?" he asked hesitantly.

Sam leaned away from the pole and stepped up beside Cas, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah, Cas, I'm okay with it," he answered with a smile. They both watched in silence as their loved ones faces lit up with laughter and excitement filled the air around them all.

Huge fireworks were suddenly lit from somewhere behind them and flew up into the air. Cas' eyes followed it up to where the moon hung, surrounded by its thousands of shining children. There it exploded into the most brilliant colors that Cas had ever seen and filled the sky with the sound of popping.

Dean moved back to Cas and took Sam's place as he went to Jess. Cas felt Dean take his hand and wipe a thumb across his cheek.

"Why are you crying?" Dean asked as Castiel's gaze found his.

Cas smiled. "Because I'm happy." He looked back up at the trails of smoke left from the fireworks just as another one was sent up. This one ended in an explosion of bright red. "It reminds me of my sister," he whispered.

Dean's eyes glanced up to the sky and back to Cas' face. He felt a strange sorrow in his heart as he watched Cas looking lost in his memories. But he also felt pangs of the deepest love as he wrapped his arms around Cas and whispered back, "I love you." Cas replied by burying his face in Dean's neck and holding onto him.

* * *

A/N: Remember when Dean goes to heaven and he remembers himself and Sam lighting fireworks? Yeah, I wasn't going to do a New Year's but I loved this idea too much to pass up. I'm so sorry Cas for making you so sad... Next chapter is the finale! Again, another thank you for all the faves and follows and views, it makes me so happy to know that people like my writing :')


	9. Epilogue of those lost and gained

"I wish you could stay with me here," Dean said. It was the day before class started again and nearly everyone was back on campus and settled back into their dorms. Cas was no exception; he and Dean had already moved his things back to his dorm where Gabriel had been waiting to shower Cas in lollipop-flavored kisses. Dean nearly lost his head until Cas explained that Gabriel was just a little… affectionate.

They'd then returned to Dean's place to sit on the couch as they had so many times before over the previous month. Only, this time they'd just popped in the CD Dean gave Cas for Christmas and laid on the couch together, Dean's head resting on Castiel's stomach and Cas playing with his short hair.

"I do, too, Dean," Cas replied quietly. "But I can come here some nights and stay with you, right?"

Dean smiled. "Yeah, you can." He heaved himself up suddenly and put his hands on either side of Cas to support his body above his boyfriend's. "You definitely can." That mischievous smile that Cas loved so much was upon his lips as Cas put his arms around Dean's neck and kissed him. The lull of the music soothed as Cas as the sun slowly set outside the window in the kitchen and warm yellow rays of sun filtered through the room.

_Home,_ Cas mused silently. _This feels like home._

* * *

_"Louder than sirens, _

_louder than bells. _

_Sweeter than Heaven_

_and hotter than Hell." _

* * *

A/N: Sorry this last bit is so short, but I hope you all enjoyed this little tale. I sure had fun writing it! The end quote is, of course, from Florence + The Machine ("Drumming Song"). I'm way too obsessed with this album... Regardless, thank you all for reading and being an awesome audience along the ride! I appreciate every one of you!


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